Failure

We sometimes find inspiration in the unlikeliest places: family and friends. You may be surprised, but sometimes it’s hard to look at the ones you love most and acknowledge failure. As a child, I hid my bad grades from my mom. I didn’t openly tell her,  “look ma’ I got a D!”

And the feelings that resonate with failure: hurt, fear, self-doubt, not only going through my mind, but what if it’s going through theirs?  How can I receive inspiration when it is them I want to inspire.

It’s hard to keep going, it’s hard to try to live while skimming the surface of who you are.

Don’t do it.  Let go.

During my most recent down-turn, I realized that it is because of my family that I must keep working at improving my mindset. Failure is defined by me. No one else.  So in light of my recent failure, I turned to a friend. A friend I’ve never met face to face, but one who knows a different part of who I am. The writer in me.

And she told me all the things I needed to hear, all the things I believed in myself, once upon a time, and reminded me that I deserve better.

So, my partners in crime. YOU deserve better. Make that your mantra and define it as you will.

 

Support…

Finding a support network is very important as you begin thinking about change.

• Family
• Friends
• On-line communities
• Spouse
• Faith Community

Everyone around you is a pivotal resource in supporting your decisions.

When I decided I needed something in my life, my sisters and I began a support group: Sisters with a Cause (SWAC). We had a mission, an agenda during every meeting that included meditation, health, and any other goals we were working on. We have since disbanded, but I learned a lot from the times we spent going over goals and supporting each other. I realized that I could not change alone. I also learned that I had to include my kids and my husband.

While my husband wasn’t interested in changing his life, I explained to him my intent, as well as explained to my kids that things were going to change. I accepted the limited support they were willing to give me, but welcomed the openness in which they responded to my intent which began something like…

I will require help in cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the children. I will give myself two hours every evening to work on me. I will do all the mommy, wife, and maid things up until the time was up and I will leave things undone if unable to finish it during the allotted time frame.

Note: This was not a request.

I stopped pretending to be wonder-woman minus the boobs.  It wasn’t easy. There was an adjustment period but I survived. They survived. And we continue to work at it every day.

My advice: Pick your battles. Prioritize what is best for the family, and what is best for you and make it work. Time is not going to extend its hand to you, but it’s your choice what to do with the time you are given.